Experiences in Close Relationships-Revised
The Experiences in Close Relationships-Revised (ECR-R) is a widely used psychometric measure that assesses adult attachment styles in romantic relationships.
- Questions
- 36
- Duration
- 10 min
- Original title
- ECR-R — Experiences in Close Relationships
- Adaptation
- Experiences in Close Relationships-Revised
- Authors
- Fraley, R. C., Waller, N. G., & Brennan, K. A.
- Created
- 2000
The Experiences in Close Relationships-Revised (ECR-R) is a widely used psychometric measure that assesses adult attachment styles in romantic relationships. Developed by Fraley, Waller, and Brennan in 2000 using item response theory, it refines earlier models to provide a precise, continuous assessment of attachment insecurity. Rather than categorizing individuals into rigid typologies, this 36-item self-report questionnaire maps relational behavior along two independent dimensions: anxiety and avoidance.
For mental health clinicians, the ECR-R serves as a robust baseline measure to understand how a patient regulates emotional proximity and distress. High scores across these dimensions can directly inform therapeutic targets, such as addressing the core fears that drive emotional dependency or the defense mechanisms that block intimacy. As a validated, repeatable instrument, it brings structure to complex interpersonal presentations, offering a clear framework for guiding case conceptualization and tracking therapeutic progress over time.
Example result
Fictitious result, computed from a sample set of answers.
The ECR-R is a 36-item self-report questionnaire assessing adult romantic attachment across two continuous and relatively orthogonal dimensions: abandonment anxiety (fear of being rejected or abandoned by the partner) and intimacy avoidance (discomfort with emotional closeness and dependency). Secure attachment is characterized by low scores on both dimensions; insecure attachment by high scores on one and/or the other. Intended for adults currently in a relationship or who have had a romantic relationship, it is widely used in research and clinical practice.
Abandonment anxiety × Avoidance of intimacy→ Fearful
Abandonment anxiety ≥ 3.56
Abandonment anxiety < 3.56
Preoccupied
High anxiety with low avoidance: seeks closeness but worries intensely about rejection and abandonment; marked need for reassurance.
Fearful
High avoidance and high anxiety: desire for connection hindered by mistrust — discomfort with intimacy AND strong fear of rejection.
Avoidance of intimacy 4.167 · Abandonment anxiety 3.667
Secure
Low avoidance and low anxiety: comfortable with intimacy, trust in the other's availability, little fear of abandonment. Relationships are experienced as secure.
Dismissing
High avoidance with low anxiety: little fear of abandonment but discomfort with closeness; preference for self-reliance and emotional distance.
Avoidance of intimacy < 2.92
Avoidance of intimacy ≥ 2.92
Indicative classification according to Bartholomew's grid. There are no "true" attachment types: both dimensions are continuous, and the source recommends, by default, splitting at the median of the local sample to balance the groups.
Cutoffs = means of the full reference sample (avoidance 2.92 ± 1.19; anxiety 3.56 ± 1.12)FraleyView the study ↗
ECR-R online norms (Fraley)
Group
Avoidance of intimacy — 4.167
généraleOverall (> 17,000) · n = 17000
17
4.167
M = 2.92 ± 1.19
Abandonment anxiety — 3.667
généraleOverall (> 17,000) · n = 17000
17
3.667
M = 3.56 ± 1.12
Statistics published on the official ECR-R webpage: online sample of over 17,000 respondents (73% women, mean age 27 years, 21% married), item mean scores (1–7, our scoring). The age rows are PREDICTED values from the published regression model (avoidance = 2.72 + 0.008 × age; anxiety = 3.67 − 0.004 × age), not observed means — they are displayed without standard deviations. The author advises interpreting these norms with caution: data collected online in the early 2000s.
FraleyView the study ↗
Abandonment anxiety
3.667/ 7
Fear of abandonment, rejection, and partner unavailability.
items 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18
3.667
17
Avoidance of intimacy
4.167/ 7
Discomfort with closeness, intimacy, and dependence on the partner.
items 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36
4.167
17
Have your patient take this test
Assign it in one click: your patient answers on their phone, you receive the score and its interpretation.
What the test measures
The ECR-R evaluates two core dimensions of adult attachment insecurity, capturing how individuals typically think, feel, and behave in emotionally intimate relationships. Uncovering these underlying dimensions helps clarify complex interpersonal beliefs and styles presenting in session.
- Attachment-Related Anxiety: The extent to which an individual fears rejection and abandonment, seeking excessive reassurance or worrying about partner availability.
- Attachment-Related Avoidance: The degree of discomfort an individual feels toward emotional closeness and dependency, often resulting in self-reliance and the active suppression of attachment needs.
- Dimensional Interaction: The continuous interaction of these two scales outlines the patient's broader attachment organization (secure, preoccupied, dismissing, or fearful-avoidant) without enforcing categorical labels.
This instrument is intended for adults and is particularly relevant when working through beliefs that damage relationships.
When and why to use it
Clinicians utilize the ECR-R across a variety of therapeutic contexts to objectify relational patterns and monitor changes in secure functioning. It provides an excellent starting point for interventions focused on building secure attachment and emotion regulation.
- Intake Baseline: Administered at the start of individual or couples therapy to rapidly map the patient's underlying attachment blueprint and structural vulnerabilities.
- Monitoring Change: Used repeatedly over the course of treatment to track shifts in anxiety and avoidance as the patient learns new coping strategies.
- Targeting Defenses: Helps differentiate between anxious hyperactivation and avoidant deactivation, guiding interventions centered on expressing vulnerability in relationships.
- Systemic Formulation: Identifies individual attachment drivers contributing to chronic relationship distress or couple misalignment and values.
A validated continuous score on the ECR-R provides a structured, quantitative anchor that complements subjective clinical impression, ensuring relational vulnerabilities are accurately tracked over time.
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The questions
- The statements below concern how you feel in emotionally intimate relationships. We are interested in how you generally experience relationships, not just in what is happening in a current relationship. Respond to each statement by indicating how much you agree or disagree with the statement.1. I'm afraid of losing my partner's love.Probes the fundamental fear of abandonment and the perceived fragility of the relationship.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 2. I often worry that my partner doesn't want to stay with me.Evaluates the persistent cognitive worry regarding a partner's commitment and longevity in the pair-bond.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 3. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me.Assesses chronic doubt surrounding the authenticity and depth of a partner's emotional investment.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 4. I worry that my romantic partners won't care about me as much as I care about them.Captures the fear of relational asymmetry and unreciprocated investment.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 5. I often wish my partner's feelings for me were as strong as my feelings for them.Explores the anxious desire for emotional equilibrium and absolute reassurance.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 6. I worry a lot about my romantic relationships.Screens for generalized anxiety and cognitive rumination specifically tied to interpersonal functioning.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 7. When my partner is away from me, I'm afraid they might become interested in someone else.Investigates hypervigilance regarding infidelity and distress triggered by physical separation.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 8. When I show my feelings to a romantic partner, I'm afraid they won't feel the same way about me.Probes the fear of unrequited vulnerability and rejection following emotional disclosure.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 9. I rarely worry about my partner leaving me.Evaluates the presence of baseline relational security and confidence in object constancy.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 10. My romantic partner makes me doubt myself.Assesses the extent to which relational anxiety undermines the individual's self-esteem and self-concept.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 11. I don't often worry about being abandoned.Measures the internalized sense of safety and absence of separation anxiety.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 12. I find that my romantic partners don't want to get as close as I would like.Explores the perception of unmet proximity needs and the desire for enmeshment.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 13. Sometimes romantic partners change their feelings about me for no apparent reason.Captures the subjective experience of relational unpredictability and perceived sudden loss of affection.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 14. My desire to be very close sometimes scares people away.Probes awareness of how one's hyperactivating strategies or intense proximity-seeking impacts others.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 15. I'm afraid that once a romantic partner gets to know me, they won't like who I really am.Investigates underlying shame and the core belief of being inherently unlovable upon authentic exposure.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 16. It makes me angry when I don't get the affection and support I need from my partner.Assesses the presence of protest behavior and anger triggered by unmet attachment needs.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 17. I worry about not measuring up to other people.Evaluates relational competitiveness and feelings of inadequacy compared to potential rivals.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 18. My partner only seems to notice me when I'm angry.Captures the reliance on conflict or escalated affect as a primary strategy to elicit partner responsiveness.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 19. I prefer not to show my partner how I feel deep down.Probes emotional suppression and the active avoidance of deep vulnerability.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 20. I feel comfortable sharing my private thoughts and feelings with my partner.Evaluates the capacity for authentic self-disclosure and emotional openness.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 21. I find it difficult to allow myself to depend on my romantic partners.Investigates the discomfort associated with relinquishing absolute self-reliance.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 22. I am very comfortable being in a close relationship with a romantic partner.Measures baseline tolerance and comfort with emotional and physical proximity.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 23. I don't feel comfortable opening up to my romantic partners.Assesses a generalized defense against intimacy and the restriction of emotional sharing.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 24. I prefer not to be too close to my romantic partners.Evaluates the conscious preference for emotional distance as a regulatory strategy.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 25. I get uncomfortable when a romantic partner wants to be very close to me.Probes the aversive reaction to a partner's proximity-seeking behavior.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 26. It's relatively easy for me to get close to my partner.Captures the perceived ease of bridging emotional distance within the dyad.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 27. It's not difficult for me to get close to my partner.Measures the absence of internal barriers when establishing relational intimacy.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 28. I usually discuss my concerns and problems with my partner.Assesses the utilization of the partner as a secure base and sounding board during distress.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 29. It helps to turn to my romantic partner in difficult times.Evaluates the effectiveness of the partner in providing co-regulation and comfort.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 30. I tell my partner pretty much everything.Probes the degree of transparency and the absence of compartmentalized emotional lives.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 31. I discuss everything with my partner.Investigates the baseline communication pattern regarding daily challenges and internal experiences.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 32. I get nervous when partners get too close to me.Assesses hyperarousal and anxiety triggered specifically by approaching intimacy.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 33. I feel comfortable depending on my romantic partners.Measures the ability to safely rely on another person without triggering threat responses.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 34. It doesn't bother me to need my partner.Evaluates the perceived naturalness of interdependent functioning within the relationship.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 35. I'm comfortable showing affection to my partner.Assesses comfort with expressing warmth, care, and physical affection.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
- 36. My partner really understands me and what I need.Captures the subjective experience of feeling attuned to, seen, and adequately supported.
- Strongly disagree
- Disagree
- Somewhat disagree
- Neutral / Neither agree nor disagree
- Somewhat agree
- Agree
- Strongly agree
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